A Blonde Eastern European Travels to Saudi Arabia

It was early in the morning when I got on the plane in Budapest.  Excited, but already tired, knowing that I have a twelve hour of journey ahead of me.  I was traveling alone(like usual), which generally does not make me feel worried or anxious.  However this time it was a completly different story.

I am an Eastern-European blonde and blue eyed women looking forward to be reunited with her American husband in the Kindom of Saudi Arabia, where he worked instructing new Saudi firefighters.

I had to change planes at Frankfurt airport, where the culture difference became crystal clear. It was amazing how different the crowd getting on the plane was from my last flight. This was my first time seeing a man in a thobe, the traditional Saudi attire, and women wearing the abaja, covering their whole body and head in black fabric, though not all were dressed like this.


During boarding I found my assigned seat occupied by a Saudi man. No problem I thought, it is alright and happens fairly often. I will just ask him to move.

Oh if I had only known…

The man immediately called a hard-working Philippino stewardess to his rescue, explaining to her that he wanted that seat and refuses to sit next to me so they will have to find me another seat. I felt a bit embarrassed, but was ready to find myself a new seat and avoid this rude man. Here I came across some more difficulties and learned a bit about their culture, as more and more Saudis refused to sit next to me, regardless of their gender or age. At the end, as the outcast of the plane, i found peace next to an old Indian man who was more than delighted to have me as his traveling companion for the hours to come.

After listening to the “Prayer of the Travelers” from the Holy Koran, which played on the monitors, the plane took off and I was finally on my way to the amazing Kingdom of sand, camels and terrible coffee…which all deserve their own story.

Photos – Mada’in Saleh, Saudi Arabia

On the Threshold
The Three Mushroom Tombs(My nickname)
_MG_2427-High Hole.jpg
One High Doorway.  Ready for a flood of biblical proportions.
Three More Rooms
Such a Good Use of a Hill
I Could Have Done Better
Too Bad There Is No Scale Here, as This One Is Massive
King of the Tombs.  Just Two Thousand Years Too Late
The Beautiful Surrounding Countryside. 
Alone with 131 Tombs
I Once Caught a Tomb This Big

An Overview of Dubai

Dubai is the worst city I have ever been to.  Actually it ties with Kuwait City but I will get to them later and make them cry into their solid gold towels.

I know almost all of you will disagree with me and that is fine.  We are all different. I have only known three other people that hate Dubai as much as I do.



First a little background on my trips to Dubai.  I have been there over 20 times because it was the hub when I worked in Saudi Arabia, so I have quite a bit of experience with the area.  I have even spent a New Years Eve there.

My first judgement of a city is the natural beauty, and Dubai has zero.  Actually the whole Middle East has zero natural beauty.  I hate the color brown and love green so I am biased against the Middle East.  Just look out the window of your plane as you fly into the city.  Sand, sand, and more sand.  And then once you enter the city limits it gets worse because of my second hatred.  Fakeness.  It goes from nothing but sand to big beautiful houses with green gardens.  It doesn’t get more fake than that.  The amount of water they consume must be astronomical.


The airport is beautiful and efficient.  I have no complaints about the airport and enjoy flying through it.  But step outside the air conditioned building and prepare yourself for an oven.  Summer is a true bake off but year round it is hot.  I once rode in an air conditioned taxi and when I got out my glasses completely fogged over so that I couldn’t see due to the heat.  So everything is air conditioned, which glides me nicely into my next point.  The pollution.  The air in Dubai is disgusting.  There are multiple reasons for this.  One is that  it is naturally dirty due to the sand and high winds, then their is the legion of air conditioners, and then finally is the amount of cars and distances they travel.  Dubai is a gigantic city.  Forget any thoughts you have about popping down to the shop to get a liter of milk. No no no.  It will take you at leat five hours to drive to the nearest shop.  Want to see the palm island from the airport.  At least an hours drive on motorways with no traffic.  Add an hour or two if there is traffic.  It is terrible.


Next on my list is that there is nothing there to do unless you want to pay a fortune.  Want to drive a mini F-1 car?  Sure, you can do it, but it costs. Skydiving? Sure, but pricey.  You can do anything with money, but how about those of us without.  You can sit on the beach which is ugly(I have been to Hawaii and Mexico and other beautiful beaches so I might have too high of standards).  The beaches are nicer than Croatia.  The other option is the mall.  The malls are gigantic and beautiful, but after all, they are just malls.  All the same shops you can visit anywhere else on the planet, except in Dubai you get to smell disgusting incense all the time.


I did go once to swim with the dolphins and that was fantastic, but it was just a few minutes of enjoyment followed by days of disappointment.  I guess my main problem with the city is the fakeness.  I hate anything fake.  Women with makeup, people with plastic surgery, people or businesses using loans to buy nice stuff, and cities that are truly a pit but with a gold covering. Dubai is a copy of Las Vegas, and while I also hate Vegas I would much rather be there as they have gambling, a walkable strip, and free shows(the Vegas water show is a hundred times better than Dubai’s).

I will finish by saying that my New Years time was also a bore.  I went to the tallest building in the world to watch the fireworks and it was packed with people as you would expect.  I know this might sound like a dream to some people but I was bored to death.  Dubai just gives me a negative vibe and I hope never to go back.  When the oil runs out it will become to biggest ghost town in history.  I hope I live long enough to see that day.


Mada’in Saleh – Part 2

As soon as Davis and I arrived home we turned on my laptop and looked at the map. It was easy to tell where we had been driving as there were only a few roads crossing in the middle of the desert. Two cell towers also helped by making perfect landmarks. The road we needed to take was the only road we hadn’t tried off of the badly damaged tank road.

Furry Camel

Early morning the next day we again set off full of high hopes and absolute certainty that we would see our destination. We make it to the familiar tank road and turn onto the correct road.

Total time to make it further than we did the day before, less than twenty minutes.  We drive on, enjoying the scenery and confident in our route. After an hour and a half we stop in a little village for fuel. This village is comprised of a gas station, a tiny market, a police station, and a few houses. I would estimate the population as being made up of a large family. All villages in the Kingdom are identical. So we pull up to the fuel pump and the Indian worker asks “how much?” in Arabic. Here is a man that comes from a beautiful lush country of a billion people, and leaves his family and friends, to work alone in a speck of a village in the middle of a desert. I want to talk to him, to ask him why. What are his motives, his dreams, his desires. But alas, we are unable to communicate. So I hold up all my fingers to signify how much fuel to pump and then wave goodbye to this sad lonely wanderer and leave him to contemplate his decisions and being.

Down the ribbon of pavement we continue, enjoying the ups and downs and tight turns the hills offer us to break up the monotony of the desert. When my eyes start to close from drowsiness I just reminisce about the utter wastes of Utah’s Salt Flats or Nevada’s deserts and I snap awake with the understanding that this isn’t bad. It could always be worse.

But this time I seem to have awoken to a mirage, for there looks to be a giant mountain covering the road.  Surprisingly Davis sees the same. There truly is a hill of dirt covering the road. Stunned we stop for a moment until I realize a dirt trail with construction equipment littering it climbing the left side of this unexpected roadblock. Against Davis’s wishes I drive up this makeshift road to the top. From the top we are greeted with an fabulous view. High up on the mountain are heavy construction trucks moving dirt around. I secretly hope for one to go tumbling down the mountain since the precipices they are working on don’t look like they could support a man let alone a solid block of metal. Down below us on the opposing side of our roadblock is a beautiful road weaving through the mountain pass. I feel sorry for it as it looks so lonely without any cars.

Now we were at an impasse. I feel that we had driven too far to give up so easily but Davis feels that we have no options. I offer up the idea of driving down the side of the mountain but Davis is a safety minded individual and so is against it. I then offer roaming around the desert looking for a way to bypass this problem. Again Davis is against it saying that we only have a small front wheel drive sedan. I can see that Davis just wants to go home since he is making excuses about my easily executable and perfectly safe ideas, so I humor him and we return to Tabuk crestfallen.

Mada’in Saleh – Part 1

To travel from city to city in Saudi Arabia may appear to be a simple task for the uninitiated, since there are very few roads and long distances between the urban areas, but it is a false belief.  There is a wonderful invention called Google Maps that destroys the need to ask locals for directions or consult a map.  I believe everyone knows how it works so I will skip the dry lecture.  I researched the way to drive which seemed very simple.  Five and a half hours, two turns, and passing three intersections once outside the city.  That was it.  Very straightforward and simple.

Davis and I get in the car and head off to the South of Tabuk.  We have never gone this way before but there are few major roads so our chances of error seem minimal.  We drive on chatting and enjoying the scenery as everyone seems to do when seeing new places.  Soon enough we intersect a road that we do recognize.  It is the main road to the West and Red Sea.  Obviously we had missed our turn.  Being completely honest with ourselves we said we knew exactly what was wrong and that we had missed our turnoff at the last roundabout.  So we happily backtrack and take a different road to the South, or mostly South based on our sun reading skills.

Saudi CountryNow would be a good time to point out that Saudi Arabia does not get many tourists and does not believe in road signs.  So what road you are on is a complete guess.  It adds to the mystery of the culture but can be quite interesting when you have no idea where you are headed and there isn’t a town or crossroad for a thousand kilometers, or thereabouts.

We catch a new road off the roundabout and again head in a generally Southern direction  We continue on this road that runs with military bases on either side complete with tanks and artillery making imposing silhouettes on the hills against the horizon.  Soon enough the road gets rough beyond anything a human being should be able to stand.  To our best guess it is a road for the military’s tanks.  I feel as if I have been transported back a hundred and fifty years and am riding a Wells Fargo coach across Nevada.  It turns out our guess is spot on as we come to an Army gate.  Dead End.  So we turn around and enjoy the free bone rattling massage while retracing our route.

We go back a little ways and turn off at an intersection to a road we have not yet used.  This road goes on for about 20 kilometers and dead ends at another military gate.  So we back track again and choose yet another different way.  This route takes us for another 10 kilometers and then dead ends at a, well, you know the answer.  It felt like we were stuck in some sort of trick.  Every road we chose ended up going to a military gate.

Davis and I do not give up easily, but seeing as we were not soldiers and had no business on a military base we decided to retreat, go home, regroup, come up with a plan of attack, and assault Mada’in Saleh at a later date.

Again we back track, heading this time not for the South but back North to the city.  After two hours of driving we had made it a total of ten minutes outside the city, but at least now we are back to the, what is this, a military gate?  Perhaps it is time to invest in a GPS.

How to Fit in Saudi Arabia


Being a spy would have suited me as a life calling, as I fit in almost perfectly everywhere I visit. I adapt to different cultures with ease. Only my lack of language skills holds me back.

Being adopted by the Saudis is a very simple feat to accomplish. Given to the fact that they are extremely and genuinely friendly. Always ready to share their food with strangers, give a ride in their car to any in need, and just be helpful in any possible way. A simple showing of understanding the culture, genuine interest in their beliefs, and most importantly, joining them in cafes smoking, eating, and talking, is all that is required.

When I first arrived here the first question was always what religion did I follow, and I had to provide to worst possible answer, as I abhor lying, except when it suits or helps me. Agnostic is not an answer Muslims like to hear. It is a worse answer than Christian, Mormon, or any other religion, except perhaps Jewish. So I would get the usual information and books about the religion and long talks about the Prophet Muhammad and the good that Muslims do. I took no offense to this conversion effort and listened with open ears, as I have done with everyone that tries to convert me. When they finish I thank them for the information, tell them my beliefs and why I don’t follow organized religion, and then state that I would not like to discuss it anymore. So far everyone has honored my request.

The discussions following religion always follow the same line. What do you know about our country and customs and what do you think of them? I would tell what little I know about the customs, and then listen to their explanations and try to see it from their point of view instead of a Western or foreigners point of view. They are protecting their women, not repressing them. They used to be Bedouins and would leave all their trash in the desert and so continue to do it. They hire foreign workers because they can. They drive the Arab way, and not the Westerners way. All these things seem perfectly normal to me.

I told my friend and co-worker, Saud, that I like their clothes. He wasted no time in taking me to a shop and purchasing everything. I do not wear it out when I am by myself but I like to dress as an Arab when I go out with my Saudi friends. And boy how I do fit in. Even the people I live and work with mistake me for an Arab when I wear the Thob.  We go to a cafe at night, smoke the wonderful narghile, eat food and ice cream, drink sugary tea and coffee, and talk. I must take a moment here to say something regarding Arabic coffee. It is the greatest insult to the coffee bean that has ever been devised by man. Burnt orange in color, it smells strongly of spices and tastes absolutely awful. There is no hint of coffee taste in it. Granted that the West has also decided to cover the taste of the coffee bean with caramel, chocolate, vanilla, and other such flavors, but they have not done the injustice to it that the Arabs have done.

The secret of fitting in is not truly a secret at all. It is merely being able to drop your preconceptions and accept the local beliefs and customs. Arabs drive where ever they feel like on a road. On the shoulder, across two lanes, sometimes not even being bothered to look at the road because they are fully involved with their phone. They consistently go through red lights and make left turns across traffic from right lanes. A visitor should expect this and drive following a similar style. Honking a horn and yelling at them whenever they straddle a line, as an American did here a few months ago, is not recommended. His car was shot three times for his troubles. He did not fit in.


A Saudi Haircut and Shave

All barbers in Saudi are men, as are almost all workers. These workers are not Arabs, but foreigners.  Mostly Indian and Filipinos but some other nationalities to fill the equal employment code no doubt.

These men do not hold certificates from beauty academies or a license of any kind.  They appear to learn by doing, which can be a bit unnerving when he first puts a straight razor to your throat, but I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me start from the outside.

A Saudi barbershop looks like any other Saudi building.  A tan strip of run down little shops next to a petrol station with a heavy sliding gate that indicates if the shop is open or not,  which is needed since they do not keep hours but open when they feel like it.  Trash is piled up near the door unless the wind has blown it away.  The door might fall off the hinges when you try to open it but most of the time it decides to stay on and just give an ear splitting screech as you enter.  The barbershop itself is a small, high dingy room with two chairs for those being served and a few filthy sofas for waiting guests.  There might be a strong odor in the room or not, mostly depending on the temperature outside.  A small, old television located in the corner fills the room with Bollywood programs.

As you sit for your turn you cannot help but notice that there are no disinfecting sprays or liquids.  The towels used to shield you from your own hair are stained and were perhaps washed, once.  A haircut is like a haircut anywhere. Straightforward with scissors, water, and a brush.  All of which bring previous victims hair along to mingle with yours.  When the gentleman is finished you realize that it was all so easy and fluid, that you might as well get a shave.  You will need one since a beard is mandatory in the Kingdom.  He leans you back, wraps you in the condemned towel, and then proceeds to disinfect the razor.  This is accomplished by lighting it on fire with what appears to be perfume.  It is the only sterilization performed, and yet it is done with such show that you cannot help appreciate it.   After this he puts a new razor blade into the razor and proceeds to go to work.  Some people fall asleep, some watch in the mirror, while I personally choose to drift through my own thoughts.

After you have paid the barber a modest sum and walk out the door a few things cross your mind.  Is that the best haircut and shave I’ve ever had?  What exactly does a certificate prove?  Has anybody ever gotten sick, ill, or even had a rash from a barber here since they are so dirty and don’t clean the instruments?  These are questions you will have to answer for yourself.  They are yes, obviously nothing, and not to my knowledge.